I started a separate thread because of how long this is so that it didnt completely hijack the other thread and so if people wanted to read them they could come here and do so and if they didnt, they didnt have to.
found on the blue board btw - and its chronological from bottom to top
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You people are awful! Have some respect for their relationship, their humanity, and the sanctity of the employer-employee relationship. What Bobby and Jess do in the privacy of his f*ckshed is their business.
from: Cindy Dorrell
4/5/2012 5:56:03 PM
I would definitely break my main bone for you, baby. Get 'er done
from: Evel Knivel
4/5/2012 5:55:51 PM
Who wants Bobby's social?
from: Hunter Rhodes
4/5/2012 5:55:43 PM
You need Bobby taken out? Smile at me girl.
from: Sean Payton
4/5/2012 5:55:32 PM
i notice you have no top lip. did it get ripped off in the crash?
from: sonjay
4/5/2012 5:55:15 PM
I 4 comdom. Can u plz send me pic of you body?
from: Roman
4/5/2012 5:55:09 PM
You hit it too slow
from: Mel Kiper
4/5/2012 5:55:00 PM
Good Luck Jess
from: Coastie
4/5/2012 5:54:40 PM
Ive got global warming in my pants AND I like eat asshole......
from: Al Gore
4/5/2012 5:54:38 PM
Damnit!
from: Houston Nutt
4/5/2012 5:54:11 PM
What did Petrino's socks look like?
from: RGIII
4/5/2012 5:53:44 PM
Hey it's, uh, it's Tiger.
from: Tiger
4/5/2012 5:53:43 PM
Jessica, I am so sorry you are having to deal with the ugliness and hatefullness of ignorant, immature people. I don't know you but my heart breaks for you. I pray you find strength in your family and true friends to get through this difficult time. Although it may seem like it, not everyone is against you. I'm ashamed of what I see on here. I wish you the best.
from: Support
4/5/2012 5:53:36 PM
So were you f*cking that guy, or what?
from: Your future husband
4/5/2012 5:53:28 PM
Home wrecker!!! Hey, Josh, would you like to eat my asshole?
from: Chelsea Clinton
4/5/2012 5:53:24 PM
Get back to work and clean those floors!
from: Anoop Dogg
4/5/2012 5:53:19 PM
Bush league.
from: Tiger Woods
4/5/2012 5:53:03 PM
It could have been worse, it could have been a black guy. Honey, who is Dong McFadden in your cell phone?
from: Josh, the guy you're marrying
4/5/2012 5:52:44 PM
new episode of the Alabama Football Podcast. Each week, al.com sports producer Matt Scalici will bring you conversations with journalists, experts and fans about Alabama football. This week, Matt is joined by Tuscaloosa producer Ben Flanagan as the two discuss Alabama's first spring scrimmage and read some of your comments from last week's show
from: Guess Who
4/5/2012 5:52:43 PM
Get John Hanco*ck the f*ck out of here.
from: GUEST BOOK
4/5/2012 5:52:32 PM
Told you I would give you the ride of your life.
from: Bobby Petrino's motorcycle
4/5/2012 5:52:32 PM
How'd this news get out? Shockey be snitchin' again!
from: Warren Sapp
4/5/2012 5:52:31 PM
Tomorrow on the Finebaum show, I might just release the name of the 3rd party florist for Jessica & Josh's wedding. Then again, I might not.
from: Danny Sheridan
4/5/2012 5:52:26 PM
I was diggin them guts out son. Glued her eye shut.
P.S. She swallows
from: Bobby Petrino
4/5/2012 5:52:26 PM
I like your thighs. You thick.
from: Corliss Williamson
4/5/2012 5:52:14 PM
Josh,
I really sympathize with what your going through. Would you like to eat my asshole?
from: Hillary Clinton
4/5/2012 5:52:12 PM
whor*
from: Becky Petrino
4/5/2012 5:51:52 PM
SILLY ASS HEATHENS COMMIT ADULTERY, PUNISHED FOR THEIR SINS!!!
from: THEHEBREW1
4/5/2012 5:51:50 PM
TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU STUPID f*ckING BASTARD
from: Patrick Bateman
4/5/2012 5:51:48 PM
He's awesome baby! With a capital A!
from: Dick Vitale
4/5/2012 5:51:44 PM
Testt
from: Test
4/5/2012 5:51:39 PM
You rode with Petrino, Jessica! You rode with Petrino when you shouldn't have!
from: Frank Beckman
4/5/2012 5:51:29 PM
I f*ck older BLACK guys. Obama '12!
from: Ashley Elizabeth Dowser
4/5/2012 5:51:18 PM
I just wished him well, f*ck that.. I take it back.
from: Gary Pinkel
4/5/2012 5:51:15 PM
Give him head and the body will die
from: Gregg Williams
4/5/2012 5:51:11 PM
Bobby, make sure you get all her clothes/dresses...and remember, you were just giving her a ride to a charity event for legless children.
from: Bill Clinton
4/5/2012 5:50:53 PM
Pittsburgh never felt better.
from: Dan Kabala
4/5/2012 5:50:53 PM
Hey Josh- No problem on the tux returns. FYI, even our rental tuxes are less worn than your fiance.
from: Men's Wearhouse
4/5/2012 5:50:52 PM
This is TURRIBLE!
from: Charles Barkley
4/5/2012 5:50:48 PM
Iowa beat LSU in a bowl once
from: Ayman al-Zawahiri
4/5/2012 5:50:29 PM
I was wondering why I got hired at USC, now I know.
from: Lane Kiffin
4/5/2012 5:50:21 PM
Who here got a condom for Ryan Mallett!
from: Ryan Mallett
4/5/2012 5:50:07 PM
I googled "co*cksucking dirty c*mslu*t".......and it lead me here?
Good luck Jess!
from: forgotten gatorz
4/5/2012 5:50:04 PM
What a shame. Petrino would have never been caught if he ran things a little more like Saban. Then you have a whole state trying to cover up your fraud.
from: Paul Finebaum
4/5/2012 5:50:02 PM
Josh,
Nice hair.
from: Karl Childers
4/5/2012 5:49:50 PM
Hi Jessica, have you heard of 40 minutes of hell
from: Mike Anderson
4/5/2012 5:49:50 PM
Stay away from Gus, Jessica!
from: Kristi Malzahn
4/5/2012 5:49:42 PM
Petrino starts strong and crashes hard, good man.
from: mike sherman
4/5/2012 5:49:41 PM
Seriously, if I have to share my exile with Cappy one more minute I may drink bleach, please unban him
from: AuburnCPA
4/5/2012 5:49:39 PM
poor josh... what did he ever do to you?
from: jose
4/5/2012 5:49:33 PM
Just don't be surprised when Bobby leaves a post it note on your mirror when he let's you know he's dumping your ass.
from: Arthur Blank
4/5/2012 5:49:31 PM
Bobby, we need to hang out.
from: Tiger Woods
4/5/2012 5:49:26 PM
Sweet! I have a chance to win a game now!
from: Gary Pinkel
4/5/2012 5:49:17 PM
We wouldn't have crashed girl.
from: DJ Williams
4/5/2012 5:48:40 PM
You cheated, but stuck with your own race. I like that.
from: KKK4LIFE
4/5/2012 5:48:25 PM
VIP - This post is for members of SpartanTailgate only. Join now! - 30 DAY FREE TRIAL
from: Dan Kilbridge
4/5/2012 5:48:23 PM
I knew I should have taken that Arkansas job!
from: Tommy Tuberville
4/5/2012 5:48:21 PM
Just left me hanging without a mirror
from: The Harley Davidson
4/5/2012 5:48:19 PM
when I was heard of what happened it seemed that people were everywhere saying you might be on the backend of the situation at hand with this Patrino thing that is going around on the interweb dont let Jarrett Lee in.
from: les miles
4/5/2012 5:48:17 PM
Don't worry coach, me and coach Belichick do this all the time while Brady watches in amazment.
from: Ryan Mallet
4/5/2012 5:47:51 PM
The ass was fat.
from: Arthur
4/5/2012 5:47:40 PM
hey
from: Cam motherf*cking Newton
4/5/2012 5:47:36 PM
ALL IN!
from: Gene Chizik
4/5/2012 5:47:19 PM
If you had f*cked me instead I would have save you the trouble of all this by dumping you off in the dark after we crashed.
from: Lane Kiffin
4/5/2012 5:47:16 PM
..damn I was waiting for you
from: June 9, 2012
4/5/2012 5:47:11 PM
Damnit you two, why the hell couldn't this have gone down on 11-4-11. Yeah, yeah...click clack.
from: Steve Spurrier
4/5/2012 5:47:09 PM
I am so ashamed
from: Becky Petrino
4/5/2012 5:46:59 PM
Jessica, my pubic, err ah public relations department could use a woman of your talents.
Many positions available.
Call my head office in Little Rock at (501) 374-4242.
-xoxo
Bill
from: Bill Clinton
4/5/2012 5:46:48 PM
I'm a dumbf*ck.
from: Spartan
4/5/2012 5:46:34 PM
Damn, how come I didn't of that. Road head on a bike!! Thanks, Bobby!
from: Morgan Freeman
4/5/2012 5:46:22 PM
Don't worry Bobby, as long as you're a Kennedy you'll get away with it. Oh wait...
from: Ted Kennedy
4/5/2012 5:46:18 PM
I broke the story about Petrino cheating on Outcurbyourcoverage months ago. You all just assumed meant rules violations. My beard is awesome.
from: Clay Travis
4/5/2012 5:46:12 PM
See this type of stuff always happens in the south why they cling to their guns and bibles.
from: Barack Obama
4/5/2012 5:45:57 PM
hey josh, how's my dick taste?
from: bobby petrino
4/5/2012 5:45:54 PM
Need some site maintenance done?
from: Circus Child
4/5/2012 5:45:52 PM
i guess you should have rode on josh's bike because atleast he would not have wrecked, but it looks like now he will dump you for sure slu*t!!!!
from: bigbrian
4/5/2012 5:45:35 PM
Jessica, I'm available on June 9th for some activity since you'll clearly have an opening on your calendar now.
from: LOLWHUT
4/5/2012 5:45:32 PM
I'm sure Petrino pulled out many of times before the job was done
from: Arthur Blank
4/5/2012 5:45:19 PM
..meanwhile Bobby was giving that 2 minute drill
from: ..
4/5/2012 5:45:12 PM
STUPID c*nt!
from: Wierd al
4/5/2012 5:45:11 PM
Doh!
from: Homer Simpson
4/5/2012 5:44:42 PM
A SINGLE f*ck WAS GIVEN ON SUNDAY
from: Hugo
4/5/2012 5:44:41 PM
The ass was fat.
from: Arthur
4/5/2012 5:44:35 PM
Pfft... Harley's are for the poors. We can eat kimchee and bump uglies in my PT Cruiser if you like. Live like the riche and smell like mahogany.
from: jdf75
4/5/2012 5:44:29 PM
Srsly.... Get me unbanned.
Also, were you and Bobby on the way to paint?
from: Rebelgator
4/5/2012 5:44:26 PM
When I said you should eat a lot of little debbie's, this is NOT what I meant! Calm the f*ck down!!!
from: Nick Saban
4/5/2012 5:44:17 PM
What a noob. If Petrino knew better, he would have went with a miniature horse instead of a woman. Way bigger co*cks.
from: Nick Saban
4/5/2012 5:44:11 PM
hey hey Bobby ;)
from: Casey Dick
4/5/2012 5:44:09 PM
It's ok, Bobby's wife has cancer.
from: John Edwards
4/5/2012 5:44:08 PM
not me guys. i was returning some videotapes.
from: Patrick Bateman
4/5/2012 5:43:57 PM
I'm cannot believe the rumors that Jessica was hooking up with Bobby Petrino.
For starters, they aren't related.
from: Abe
4/5/2012 5:43:50 PM
I'm sorry but that's what you get for having sex before marriage, Jess
from: Tim Tebow
4/5/2012 5:43:39 PM
You aren't Casey Anthony, but I'm a fat, gross sh*tbag. So it might work anyways.
And to Josh, sem*n is fattening, so she'll be a Hawg in 15 years regardless.
from: SADUCFKNIGHT
4/5/2012 5:43:32 PM
Where did everybody go?
from: vBulletin
4/5/2012 5:43:31 PM
I recommend the Italian Sausage for your reception
from: Rick Pitino
4/5/2012 5:43:25 PM
Damn and I had plans on crashing that wedding........¯\_(ツ)_/¯
from: 636
4/5/2012 5:43:21 PM
jessica...patino rhymes with patrino, will you take a ride on my hot ROD?
from: rick patino
4/5/2012 5:43:15 PM
Registered at Dillards...I see you re a high class hooker!
from: Martha Stewart
4/5/2012 5:43:12 PM
im sure this is one big misunderstanding
from: sandusky
4/5/2012 5:43:10 PM
I'm too fat to cheat. Nobody loves me.
from: Charlie Weiss
4/5/2012 5:43:08 PM
Interesting...
from: Trinity
4/5/2012 5:42:58 PM
Any chance we can listen into #patrinohouseholdradio tonight?
from: Lexington police
4/5/2012 5:42:51 PM
Hi Jess. I just want you to know that our resident loud-mouth lard-asses at Hogville.net will welcome you in with open arms. We've never been laid, so please come on by.
from: Lanny Beavers
4/5/2012 5:42:48 PM
Craig James killed five hookers at SMU
from: Allegedly
4/5/2012 5:42:46 PM
Way to go Bobby! Get in that hole?
from: Tiger Woods
4/5/2012 5:42:42 PM
Are we supposed to show up with road rash or do we get it there? Ah fo shiz I'm sure bobby p can help us out wid that, if he's there.
from: Kellen Winslow II
4/5/2012 5:42:41 PM
Jess, wanna go roller skating?
from: Bama Rabbi
4/5/2012 5:42:33 PM
Need a MC?
from: Brent Petway
4/5/2012 5:42:28 PM
All joking aside. Luckily this happened before you married her Josh. You dodged a bullet
from: Mike
4/5/2012 5:42:23 PM
I'll take her too.
from: The Honey Badger
4/5/2012 5:42:13 PM
Bobby, did she get a taste of the grass?
from: Les Miles
4/5/2012 5:42:02 PM
These are my confessions
from: Usher
4/5/2012 5:41:52 PM
fduksl jkldfsas kljfsfdodasin dkfasdfljdfdddfhh djfkdfljs!!
from: Morris Claiborne
4/5/2012 5:41:51 PM
Ayo mami, ese culo...I'll show you a real good time.
from: Mr. Worldwide aka Pitbull
4/5/2012 5:41:46 PM
How come I am banned and that f*cker from Pedo State gets to post ?
from: Capstone06
4/5/2012 5:41:45 PM
Looks like 9 people left a comment before we got here and made it significantly better.
from: America
4/5/2012 5:41:33 PM
Hahahaha
from: Dorial Green-Beckham
4/5/2012 5:41:30 PM
Hang in there Jessica and Josh and Bobby and Jessica and Josh and Bobby and Jessica and Josh and Bobby and Jessican and Josh and Bobby.
Dearest Jessica, hang in there and hang in there Josh and Bobby I SHOULD BUY A BOAT!!! But seriously hang in there.
from: Quin Snyder
4/5/2012 5:41:29 PM
sssssss
from: sam
4/5/2012 5:41:04 PM
Does anyone know where Kirk Cousins was the night this motorcycle crashed? My moles tell me that he is involved somehow...
from: Wob Parker
4/5/2012 5:41:04 PM
About Us
Josh is from Florida; I am from Texas. We met in the middle in Fayetteville, Arkansas! We were both working toward our Masters degrees when we met and fell in love. Both of us are currently working for the University of Arkansas Athletic Department. Josh is a strength and conditioning coach for Olympic sports and I work in development/fundraising at the Razorback Foundation, where I routinely cheat on Josh with Bobby and whatever players are around at that time.
from: Jessica
4/5/2012 5:41:03 PM
This whole story is preposterous. There is no such thing as motorcycles.
from: Michele Bachmann
4/5/2012 5:41:00 PM
It's Nick Saban's fault. If you would have gone to school at UGA this wouldn't have happened Jess.
Josh, hit me up, I'm available.
from: Michael Carvell
4/5/2012 5:40:55 PM
At least you didn't kill five hookers at SMU.
from: Allegedly
4/5/2012 5:40:53 PM
Congratulations on the promotion... I have something I want to show you.....
from: Bobby
4/5/2012 5:40:44 PM
Let me call my buddy who's an expert on hot bitches taking motorcycle rides with married football coaches.
from: Rick Harrison
4/5/2012 5:40:35 PM
Well played Coach Peweeno. I'd hit it
from: Clint Stoner
4/5/2012 5:40:27 PM
*sigh* Jesus Christ...
from: Jesus
4/5/2012 5:40:06 PM
whor*!!!
from: Mrs. Petrino
4/5/2012 5:40:05 PM
All of this is garbage and it's rubbish and it's not true! And it's total garbage! And I DID NOT get attacked by a bear!
from: DannyBoyCane
4/5/2012 5:40:04 PM
....
from: TM7
4/5/2012 5:39:55 PM
Rick,
If you need help with your "problem" give me a call. I specialize in white bitchez.
from: O.J. Simpson
4/5/2012 5:39:54 PM
So anyone have any plans on June 9th?
from: Vince Vaughn
4/5/2012 5:39:51 PM
Here comes the fun-cooker.
from: Tracy Jordan
4/5/2012 5:39:50 PM
Jessica seemed like such a high class girl I cant believe she would ride coach
from: Dr. Phil
4/5/2012 5:39:49 PM
Jess: Are you an archeologist?
from: Zeezbrah
4/5/2012 5:39:36 PM
Durrrrrrr what's a motorcycle
from: Morris Claiborne
4/5/2012 5:39:31 PM
You was with him when he crashed into the DITCH!!!
from: Kobe Bryant
4/5/2012 5:39:30 PM
Sometimes we all gotta take a little ride.
from: Sarah Palin
4/5/2012 5:39:26 PM
Hello Jessica, my name is... Kyle Butler.
from: Dexter
4/5/2012 5:39:25 PM
I wouldn't care if you was a prostitute.
from: Lil Wayne
4/5/2012 5:39:24 PM
I HAVE FOUND FEET PICS!!! I WANT TO SUCK THOSE TOES!!! https://p.twimg.com/ApwGk4ACMAAXRjH.jpg
from: Rex Ryan
4/5/2012 5:39:08 PM
Shotgun Anus!
from: Bill
4/5/2012 5:39:06 PM
Obviously I am not the only puss* that has been hit of late.
I miss you Weezy.
from: Mr Toodles
4/5/2012 5:39:01 PM
The ass was fat.
from: Arthur
4/5/2012 5:38:59 PM
I can't see my penis when I'm naked.
from: Big Fat Brady
4/5/2012 5:38:51 PM
sup
from: Ryan Mallet
4/5/2012 5:38:40 PM
Jessicas, yous makes a goot hooker gives me a calls.
from: pimp daddy
4/5/2012 5:38:36 PM
Jessica,
I've got a UTEP credit card and allll night. We could be rollin'.
from: "Mike P"
4/5/2012 5:38:12 PM
God Bless you both
from: Dental Smock
4/5/2012 5:37:57 PM
Steve Helwagen is a great writer who plays it right down the middle and draws a lot of traffic. You should give him a shot, Jess.
from: Oletangy banks
4/5/2012 5:37:46 PM
Didn't call me for the Eiffel Tower? TF
from: Paul Petrino
4/5/2012 5:37:46 PM
Jess, do you have facebook?
Wanna be friends?
from: TTsTowel
4/5/2012 5:37:40 PM
I just put in an offer on their used condom.
from: Chitown_hom*o
4/5/2012 5:37:32 PM
Jessica,
Please contact me in regards to potential Big East Football member status.
Thanks!
John
from: John Marinatto
4/5/2012 5:37:31 PM
I bet he was a stallion.
from: Catherine the Great
4/5/2012 5:37:18 PM
I always get banned before the good stuff happens
from: LR4rebelgator
4/5/2012 5:36:59 PM
Come on Bobby, shes not even that hot. I suggest you demand excellence!
from: Mr. Tanfan
4/5/2012 5:36:59 PM
I'll bring the bongos.
from: Matthew McConaghey
4/5/2012 5:36:55 PM
Did Petrino have any rectal bleeding? I'd like to get in there and find some answers.
from: devine
4/5/2012 5:36:49 PM
Is this wedding Bring Your Own Blonde?
from: Concerned Citizen
4/5/2012 5:36:48 PM
Jealous?
from: The Oak Trees at Toomer's Corner
4/5/2012 5:36:43 PM
Post some newds in the Photo Album off there to the left
from: Roberto
4/5/2012 5:36:34 PM
Josh, Im sorry. Its time for me to fess up. I have 4 friends and we all delivered pizzas to Jessica's house at the same time..
from: Nick Gerz
4/5/2012 5:36:30 PM
I should have blown Ryan Mallett.
from: Rich Rodriguez
4/5/2012 5:36:27 PM
It's OK I wrecked on the back of Bobbies motorcycle too.
from: Putnam_Al
4/5/2012 5:36:24 PM
haha... Morans!
from: Gary "Jumbo" Pinkel
4/5/2012 5:36:22 PM
Don't worry Jess better days are ahead look at me I am getting 5 Million a year to fake beat up Cena a year instead of UFC slave wages.
from: Brock Lesnar
4/5/2012 5:36:03 PM
SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC!
from: SCAR fan
4/5/2012 5:35:57 PM
Amateurs
from: Clay Morrow
4/5/2012 5:35:44 PM
Hey guys, can you ask to have me unbanned?
TIA
from: AuburnCPA
4/5/2012 5:35:43 PM
What kind of cake are you serving at the wedding? Can I have my own?
from: Brady Hoke
4/5/2012 5:35:39 PM
nnnnnnnnngh;
from: UB
4/5/2012 5:35:29 PM
I can make it ROLL, baby!
from: Mike Price
4/5/2012 5:35:08 PM
I LOVE YOU BOTH!
from: Heather Royal
4/5/2012 5:34:56 PM
couple of fans claim to have pictures, from just before the accident..
http://i.imgur.com/31wwL.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/9Xk2v.jpg
MOTORCYCLES...they get you in trouble..
http://i.imgur.com/CkgA8.jpg
from: REACH AROUND
4/5/2012 5:34:48 PM
Geez, Bobby. At least when I was coaching I went out of the country to 'recruit'
from: Ernie Kent
4/5/2012 5:34:39 PM
Checkmate.
from: Nick Saban
4/5/2012 5:34:37 PM
Wear gloves one size smaller...
from: O.J Simpson
4/5/2012 5:34:32 PM
lol.... what?
from: Matt Jones
4/5/2012 5:34:30 PM
Jessica,
Any chance you play softball? I used to coach. We could work something out.
from: Patrick
4/5/2012 5:34:29 PM
Mr. Petrino has sustained a serious neck injury and an uncomfortable rash/burn on his face from going down on...you fill in the rest Jessica.
from: Bobby Petrino's Doctor
4/5/2012 5:34:25 PM
I haz da ghey :dwi:
from: RummelTiger
4/5/2012 5:34:22 PM
slu*ts need penis too! Viva Viagra!!!
from: Hugh Hefner
4/5/2012 5:34:20 PM
Thanks Jessica, If anyone on earth deserves public ridicule, it's Bobby. Thanks for lighting the fuse.
Arthur Blank
from: Arthur
4/5/2012 5:34:15 PM
"I am beyond pissed about this," White said. "I'm so [expletive] mad right now I can't even begin … The worst part is that he sat in front of us and lied to us. "
from: Dana White on Arkansas Bobby Petrino presser
4/5/2012 5:34:07 PM
I am fixing to get the dirt on Jessica, brb
from: TigerPox
4/5/2012 5:34:01 PM
Id hit it
from: Brittney Griner
4/5/2012 5:33:43 PM
I hope your hair is ok.
from: Rodney Orr
4/5/2012 5:33:33 PM
This comment section has an average of more than 10 times the other comment sections.
from: Darren Rovell
4/5/2012 5:33:31 PM
Jessica, I like riding on motorcycles. Hit me up.
from: Brittany Griner
4/5/2012 5:33:27 PM
Glad your arse isn't razzberried from our wreck love muffin...I love to put some BBQ on that thing and ummm numm numm.
from: Bobby Popwiener
4/5/2012 5:33:18 PM
Where da white women at?
from: Sheriff Bart
4/5/2012 5:33:17 PM
Can I get next?
from: Suitcase Mike Anderson
4/5/2012 5:33:05 PM
Well, did you enjoy the ride?
from: Clayton Williams
4/5/2012 5:32:56 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 National Title, 1 National Runner-Up, 31 Conference Titles, 6 Final Fours, 10 Elite Eights, 10 Sweet Sixteens, 30 NCAA's, 40 NCAA Tourney Wins, 35 All Americans, 95 1st Team AllConference Selections WE ARE ARKANSAS f*ck THESE HILLBILLY GUMPS
from: Hawgeye
4/5/2012 5:32:50 PM
That's what you Gentiles get!!!
Wrecksky
from: XXX
4/5/2012 5:32:43 PM
What a strange way to dispose of your prostitute, Bobby. Call me next time for pointers.
from: Craig James
4/5/2012 5:32:24 PM
Sounds like Bobby came and went at the same time
from: Ron Jeremy
4/5/2012 5:32:22 PM
This is only the beginning, from what I understand there is much more to come of this. I will spend every waking moment of my pathetic life to investigate this incident and Bobby Petrino calling the hogs in bed with Jessica. AS THE BACON FRYS.
from: BlueTunaTiger
4/5/2012 5:32:13 PM
WIDE OPEN, DOWN THE MIDDLE, AND IT'S A FIRST DOWN, INSIDE JESSICA'S PUSS. Bobby Petrino, what a play from the old gipper.
from: Brent Musburger
4/5/2012 5:32:13 PM
Jessica is a slu*t!
from: Rush Limbaug
4/5/2012 5:32:12 PM
LOUD NOISES!! LOUD NOISES!!
from: Bryan Fant -- no, Brick Tamland
4/5/2012 5:32:04 PM
I had to blow Ryan Mallet, too.
from: Lloyd Carr
4/5/2012 5:32:01 PM
JESSICA that's what you get ! Slappy mudfish given Bobby ! the COSTA RICA SQUIRT !
Look down at your vag ! Tell YOUR HUSBAND ! He can COME PLAY WITH MARK WHEELER ! HA !
from: I not Gubbs ! I Jorts!
4/5/2012 5:31:53 PM
Hey, if you need some insurance, let me know! I can meet you at an Italian restaurant if you want
from: Coach Pitino
4/5/2012 5:31:47 PM
Say are you busy on the 14th of April. Having a get together.
from: Terence Jr
4/5/2012 5:31:38 PM
I'm not fat anymore you stupid f*ck!
from: Ross the Boss
4/5/2012 5:31:37 PM
Josh,
How many other old guys do you think have stuck their long, old, crusty, STD laced juicers in your girl?
Hopefully, you can still get your money back for all the arrangements made on your end.
By the way, congrats on the wedding. Must be great to know you will never please her.
from: Common sense
4/5/2012 5:31:36 PM
Josh I know how to handle this, drop me a line.
from: Jay Mariotti
4/5/2012 5:31:32 PM
Hey, everyone stop. She's my piece.
from: Bobby Petrino
4/5/2012 5:31:27 PM
Looking at Jessica raised my T/E ratio to 14:1.
from: Alistair Overeem
4/5/2012 5:31:21 PM
Hope you had fun riding Bobby's Hog!!
Hope the wedding is still on, I was looking forward to crashing it with Monica!!
from: Bill Clinton
4/5/2012 5:31:17 PM
I pray for your souls. May the lord help you find forgiveness.
from: McGuillicutty Loves Jesus
4/5/2012 5:31:13 PM
I'm just jealous because Bobby wouldn't f*ck me. I was forced to blow Ryan Mallett.
from: Donna
4/5/2012 5:30:57 PM
I had to settle for the softball players when I was the coach.
from: Houston Nutt
4/5/2012 5:30:54 PM
sounds like one 8 ball short of a real party
from: Matt Jones
4/5/2012 5:30:53 PM
There will always be a job for you at Wal-Mart Jessica!
from: Sam Walton
4/5/2012 5:30:52 PM
MB 6.7
from: MB
4/5/2012 5:30:44 PM
"May the odds be ever in your favor"....
from: KonwayTweety
4/5/2012 5:30:30 PM
Hey Jess, I have a pretty big forum we can talk on.
from: Fazle
4/5/2012 5:30:19 PM
Jessica,
I just wanted to congratulate you and Josh on your engagement. Best wishes to you two in the future!
from: S. Pohcansi
4/5/2012 5:30:14 PM
I have a Vespa....call me
from: KonwayTweety
4/5/2012 5:30:14 PM
This is racist, I tell ya. BTW, are you serving fried chicken at the wedding. If so, put me down for 2. Jeff George is still the greatest.
from: Jason Whitlock
4/5/2012 5:30:01 PM
Next time, have some decency and use the bathroom
from: Lois Feldman
4/5/2012 5:29:57 PM
I bet her sleeves were more loose than mine Harry.
from: Albus Dumbledore
4/5/2012 5:29:54 PM
Gotta stay away from women named Jessica. They only will cause you trouble.
from: Gary Hart
4/5/2012 5:29:52 PM
I'm sorry, but is the wedding already called off? Oh, that’s right. The wedding has not even been canceled yet. In fact, Jessica and Josh still plan on getting married in June. Does riding on Bobby Petrino’s motorcycle mean that the wedding is automatically canceled? Is that what you’re saying? Because if you’re saying that I can assure you that you’re wrong. Why would you make this topic when the wedding is not even close to being canceled? Jessica and Josh are together right now and they have been the best couple in Arkansas for how many years now? You are being played for fools by one of the best coaches in the SEC who just happened to have a false hope of giving Jessica an innocent motorcycle ride. But you know what? You still f*cking suck. Bobby Petrino has nothing to do with this, other than not knowing how to drive a motorcycle, this has no impact on the imminent wedding between Jessica and Josh. Maybe you should shut the f*ck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you’re going to be embarrassed when they get married and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, Jessica and Josh are registering at Crate and Barrel, just like they did at Williams Sonoma. Are you a f*cking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a f*cking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I’m f*cking serious. I almost have a feeling you’re the only guy making all these anti-Jessica and Josh topics because you’re a fa*ggot who doesn’t even realize that Jessica and Josh are happier together than you will ever be. f*ck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these f*cking SEC fans on the board, like I give a f*ck. It’s so easy to spot out your threads now, you’re a retard. Always doing stupid sh*t like this. Why don’t you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your f*cking life try not to make a topic like this. That’s just you, you’re always right at getting it wrong. f*ck you. You are nothing.
from: Spartan
4/5/2012 5:29:44 PM
Look where?
from: Martin Luther King
4/5/2012 5:29:39 PM
Give me a call..
Callista is getting a little rough around the edges, if you know what I mean
from: Newt Gingrich
4/5/2012 5:29:35 PM
At least your month is going better than mine.
from: Whitney Houston
4/5/2012 5:29:26 PM
hot damn
from: Garrick McGee
4/5/2012 5:29:25 PM
Bobby I see you stole our theme from the 2010 season..Really going all in...
from: Gus Malzahan
4/5/2012 5:29:24 PM
The people that rioted in Lexington where the students from Ohio
from: Busey
4/5/2012 5:29:13 PM
Any openings this year?
from: Sean Peyton
4/5/2012 5:28:53 PM
BEST WISHES
from: JEFF
4/5/2012 5:28:52 PM
Honestly, enough is enough
from: Donna
4/5/2012 5:28:51 PM
MODS! GET IN HERE AND CLEAN UP THIS GUEST BOOK RIGHT NOW! WHAT IF JOSH READS IT??? IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO DO IT, MAKE ME A MOD AND I'LL DO IT!!!
from: Punisher66
4/5/2012 5:28:44 PM
she likes nigg*rs too and blow
from: Matt Jones
4/5/2012 5:28:43 PM
Congrats on the sex. Get well soon.
from: Not a whor*
4/5/2012 5:28:36 PM
Jessica & Josh: I know some people who can make all this go away. Give me a call.
from: Mack Brown
4/5/2012 5:28:30 PM
I just don't have the heart to read any more of these comments.
from: Mark Dantonio
4/5/2012 5:28:27 PM
Yo, any of you nigg*s have Skittles??
from: Trayvon Martin
4/5/2012 5:28:23 PM
I took more crap over a jumbo glass of wine.
from: Gary Pinkel
4/5/2012 5:28:19 PM
I got dis dope motersycle, u can ryde if u juss sho da crow ur titz and agree 2 get freeky wit da crow after da ryde.
from: da crow
4/5/2012 5:28:09 PM
HHHHHHHHHey JJJJJJJJJesica HHHHHHHHey JJJJJJJJosh how you ddddddddddoing? I jjjust wwwwanted to sssay I jjjust wwwwanted to sssay I jjjust wwwwanted to sssay I jjjust wwwwanted to sssay I jjjust wwwwanted to sssay ccccccongggggratulllations. BBBBBBBye
from: Stuttering Roger
4/5/2012 5:28:09 PM
Kif, alert the men, Bobby Petrino has made it with a woman.
from: Zapp Brannigan
4/5/2012 5:28:02 PM
BOBBY IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA PERSON THAT KILLED U!
......__________________
...../_==o;;;;;;;;______[]
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
from: Dale Denton
4/5/2012 5:27:54 PM
please do not speculate.
from: Roger C. M. Bartholomew
4/5/2012 5:27:53 PM
Dammit Bobby!!
from: Hank Hill
4/5/2012 5:27:51 PM
Jessica is not as hot as Carrie Underwood
ETA: ban Coastie
from: Roll Tide Rockstar
4/5/2012 5:27:48 PM
Josh, it will be OK, I've been there.
You are lucky you were not married to her when she left for a friend of the Razorback program.
I was and it ruined my life.
from: Capstone06
4/5/2012 5:27:47 PM
This website is just further proof God loves us.
from: Jimmy Swaggart
4/5/2012 5:27:41 PM
Prayers lifted
from: Damon Evans
4/5/2012 5:27:40 PM
put it in her ass!
from: Jerry Jones
4/5/2012 5:27:34 PM
Hope you weren't using protection, Bobby.
from: Longhornfan1234
4/5/2012 5:27:32 PM
Guys this may be a totally honest mistake. Please dont cheapen this by trying to be comedians.
from: Al GOre
4/5/2012 5:27:29 PM
i'd hit jessica even though petrino did first.
from: Osama bin Laden
4/5/2012 5:27:27 PM
Yo Jessica, you wanna make 37 cents the hard way?
from: Al Czervik
4/5/2012 5:27:21 PM
How can I tie this in to John Calipari cheating?
from: Clay Travis
4/5/2012 5:27:10 PM
Trust me, I know how hard it is to ride a motorcycle and get jerked off at the same time. TRUST ME.
from: the other guy you ride with...
4/5/2012 5:27:05 PM
*shoulder shrug*
from: Judas
4/5/2012 5:27:03 PM
Seriously f*ck this sh*t, unban me Chicked. I mean God Damn.
from: AuburnCPA
4/5/2012 5:27:00 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_10tfbfO94#t=2m36s
Bobby bout to lose 10 to 15 M's
Bobby my n**** hate it had to be him
Becky wasn't wit me railin in the gym
Becky wasn't with me railin in the gym!
from: Drake
4/5/2012 5:26:56 PM
I don't see the big deal? I bent her over in my office, he just rode a bike.
from: Rick Pitino
4/5/2012 5:26:51 PM
Call me. I'm great at this kind of stuff. Seriously. For real.
from: John Edwards
4/5/2012 5:26:49 PM
What is with the police in your town, Bobby? You need to get them on your side my man. How else do you think I'm able to conceal my alternative lifestyle with Steve Mariucci from Lupe. That man is so fabulous.
from: Tom Izzo
4/5/2012 5:26:46 PM
It's good to see that josh could overlook the whole interracial gangb*ng thing.
from: Afro Jenkins
4/5/2012 5:26:41 PM
I'm transferring to Kentucky!
from: Trey Burke
4/5/2012 5:26:38 PM
I see a lot of parallels between your inability to keep the media out of your personal life and my inability to properly manage a bullpen. Just because we have these personal shortcomings doesn't mean we are not great people! I hear the boos when I tell Brian McCann to put down a bunt and I'm sure you've heard the critics in the wake of your motorcycle accident. We are one, really.
from: Fredi Gonzalez
4/5/2012 5:26:38 PM
I'm not worried.
from: Bob Sakimano
4/5/2012 5:26:32 PM
You make good life choices.
from: Mitch Mustain
4/5/2012 5:26:31 PM
HEY LESLIE
SHE CHEATED ON HER FIANCEE. PROBABLY WITH YOU TOO. SHE LIKES OLD MAN DICK. SORRY JOSH, SUCKS 2 B U
from: HEY LESLIE
4/5/2012 5:26:30 PM
Josh.. hit me up bro. I'll tell ya how to fix your problem.
from: O.J. Simpson
4/5/2012 5:26:24 PM
I have breaking news on Bobby Petrino and Jerry Sandusky. Oh wait, no I don't because I'm a f*cktard.
from: Brooks Melchior
4/5/2012 5:26:22 PM
Now what we see here is some great penetration in the backfield.
from: John Madden
4/5/2012 5:26:17 PM
So.....did he spray her guts or what?
from: Rick Santorum
4/5/2012 5:26:03 PM
Josh. I understand you are going through a hard time. Meet me at the men's restroom, XNA, terminal C at 9pm tonight.
from: Larry Craig
4/5/2012 5:25:57 PM
Did I hear some rhythmic slap slap slapping over here?
from: Coach Sandusky
4/5/2012 5:25:55 PM
SHOW CHARLIE MURPHY YOUR titt*es
from: Daniel Seahorn
4/5/2012 5:25:54 PM
'Atta boy!
from: Jim Tressel
4/5/2012 5:25:52 PM
Did Gregg Williams offer you a bounty on Petrino?
from: Scrody
4/5/2012 5:25:50 PM
SEC girls are more loose than BIG EAST girls
from: Bobby
4/5/2012 5:25:45 PM
"Bitch" I said "Lean into the curve"
from: Biker Dude
4/5/2012 5:25:40 PM
I'd beat the brakes out of, err I mean off of you.
from: Chris Brown
4/5/2012 5:25:34 PM
I thought Petrino was a homer???
from: Nutt
4/5/2012 5:25:33 PM
Its okay Jessica. One time couldn't hurt could it?
from: Len Bias
4/5/2012 5:25:29 PM
Welp, Bobby Petrino now had gonorrhea.
from: Charlie Sheen
4/5/2012 5:25:28 PM
I see someone is trying to bump up their zeevol ranking.
from: DaVille23
4/5/2012 5:25:27 PM
Jessica, you just became Tigerboard's bitch.
from: TIGER BOARD.com
4/5/2012 5:25:22 PM
Go to hell Capstonegrad06
from: CPA
4/5/2012 5:25:15 PM
Hey, Jess.. *burp*... I got a 12-pack right here if u want another ride, gurl.
from: Andy Kennedy
4/5/2012 5:24:58 PM
Eff it.. I don't wanna come back anyway. TD is lame.
from: Capstone06
4/5/2012 5:24:55 PM
I just had sex!
from: Bobby Petrino
4/5/2012 5:24:49 PM
Hey do you guys still need the buffet food for the wedding? Let me know, I'm hungry.
from: Brady Hoke
4/5/2012 5:24:47 PM
WORK 'EM SILLY
from: Will Muschamp
4/5/2012 5:24:47 PM
I don't mean to be rude, but Rick Pitino had the best affair of ALL TIME!
from: Kanye West
4/5/2012 5:24:30 PM
A motorcycle? Girl, I would've flown you around in my helicopter of love.
from: Gary Pinkel
4/5/2012 5:24:28 PM
Tell ILOVEBAMA I CAN NOT LINK HIM CAUSE I AM BANNED
from: AuburnCPA
4/5/2012 5:24:27 PM
W. Hill
from: Sour
4/5/2012 5:24:18 PM
Jessica pls
from: Dolan
4/5/2012 5:24:09 PM
How bout a lap dance for the worlds richest man
from: Tron
4/5/2012 5:24:04 PM
(_\
/ \
`== / /\=,_
;--==\\ \\o
/____//__/__\
@=`(0) (0)
from: Vroom
4/5/2012 5:24:00 PM
I have a camera and a decent sized farm if you have the time Jessica
from: Brett Favre
4/5/2012 5:23:55 PM
It should have been obvious the girl was getting around when she set her wedding date as 6/9.
from: Captain Hindsight
4/5/2012 5:23:44 PM
I cannot believe how horrible some of you are being!!!! You don't know the situation, you were not there! Let the families help their wounded loved ones to heal and STOP this nonsense! Grow up! Jessica, I am so sorry about your accident. I hope you are feeling better soon!
from: Leslie Wilson
4/5/2012 5:23:30 PM
Hey, Jess...
Watch your bunghole, girl.
from: Lawrence
4/5/2012 5:23:23 PM
Yo girl, show me where you pee at
from: Petrino's Peter
4/5/2012 5:23:19 PM
Jessica,
You don't still have that tape, I hope.
Best,
John
from: John Edwards
4/5/2012 5:23:17 PM
I called my dad.
from: Mike McQueary
4/5/2012 5:23:15 PM
damn gurl u is lokkin fine az heel call me up wehn u ready fore dat bbc.
from: morris claiborne#17
4/5/2012 5:23:10 PM
I'm not worried...
from: Bob Sakimano
4/5/2012 5:23:08 PM
I suck my nigg*r co host's dick
from: Clay Travis
4/5/2012 5:23:06 PM
This thread is just unbelievably awesome. #winning
from: f*cking Epic
4/5/2012 5:23:05 PM
I don't see that Bobby did anything wrong. Hell I used to pimp out my daughter to recruits.
from: Bill McCartney
4/5/2012 5:22:57 PM
I gotz dat key u wanted hmu
from: Trayvon Martin
4/5/2012 5:22:56 PM
Jess, I'll be off for the weekend tomorrow afternoon, let's tee it off.
from: Rickie Fowler
4/5/2012 5:22:55 PM
Would you just look at that.
from: Willy Robinson
4/5/2012 5:22:53 PM
.
from: gubbs
4/5/2012 5:22:47 PM
I promise I will not be a douche any more if you get me reinstated
from: Capstone06
4/5/2012 5:22:46 PM
GOOD NEWS!!! TigerBoard.com says you're a "1". MIZ...
from: TIGER BOARD.com
4/5/2012 5:22:45 PM
We're here for the gang bang.
from: LSU Team
4/5/2012 5:22:39 PM
Just letting you know yes IWHI and PIIYB :usocray: :pimp:
from: OT Balla
4/5/2012 5:22:38 PM
Josh: "It never happened once, not one IOTA"
Love Jessica
from: Danny Boy Cane Voice
4/5/2012 5:22:29 PM
Josh... you are NOT the father.
from: Maury Povich
4/5/2012 5:22:25 PM
Her and I had a real good time.
from: Pitbull
4/5/2012 5:22:10 PM
If you sucked DGB like me....no wonder he went to Mizzouri.
from: Josh
4/5/2012 5:22:09 PM
Bobby would have been better off hitting a tree.
from: Sonny Bono
4/5/2012 5:21:59 PM
Call me and we'll discuss my 9-9-9 plan. Better yet, we can meet at the Ritz Carlton in Atlanta.
from: Herman Cain
4/5/2012 5:21:51 PM
Bobby you've been holding out on me.
from: Jeff Long
4/5/2012 5:21:49 PM
Some of my closest family members are from Arkansas. Would love to take a gander at the facilities.
from: Todd Graham
4/5/2012 5:21:38 PM
Can't spell adultery without U and ME
from: Steve Spurrier
4/5/2012 5:21:35 PM
__ /^\
.' \ / :.\
/ \ | :: \
/ /. \ / ::: |
| |::. \ / :::'/
| / \::. | / :::'/
`--` \' `~~~ ':'/`
/ (
/ 0 _ 0 \
\/ \_/ \/
-== '.' | '.' ==-
/\ '-^-' /\
\ _ _ /
.-`-((\o/))-`-.
_ / //^\\ \ _
."o".( , .:::. , )."o".
|o o\\ \:::::/ //o o|
\ \\ |:::::| // /
\ \\__/:::::\__// /
\ .:.\ `':::'` /.:. /
\':: |_ _| ::'/
`---` `"""""` `---`
from: Happy Easter
4/5/2012 5:21:33 PM
I'm a fa*g.
from: FREE KOBE
4/5/2012 5:21:33 PM
There's these two coaches standing on a bridge goin' a bathroom in a creek. One coach says the water is cold. Other coach says the water is deep. I believe one coach was from Arkansas, I reckon. Get it?
from: Karl Childers
4/5/2012 5:21:31 PM
And here we thought it would be being caught in recruiting violations that would cause Bobby's inevitable crash...
from: The NCAA
4/5/2012 5:21:27 PM
Jessica come visit us... we're in a slump!
from: Arky Baseball Team
4/5/2012 5:21:25 PM
EVEN PENN STATE IS LAUGHING AT YOU!
from: God
4/5/2012 5:21:08 PM
A long distance dedication to Jessica http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdLyoCgDKFs
from: Bobby Petrino
4/5/2012 5:20:57 PM
Ignore the Gumps, good luck Jessica & Josh
from: Sao
4/5/2012 5:20:54 PM
You got any weed?
from: Derrick Nix
4/5/2012 5:20:46 PM
Just wait until my jorts wearing, welfare recieving, inbred, bible thumping fan base gets a load of this.
from: Bear Bryant
4/5/2012 5:20:45 PM
Sorry
from: This is terrible
4/5/2012 5:20:39 PM
SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX! Oops, I mean SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC!
from: MIZ
4/5/2012 5:20:34 PM
Time to die Petrino.
from: Chris Rainey
4/5/2012 5:20:30 PM
Got a little brother?
from: J. Sandusky
4/5/2012 5:20:16 PM
Im soO sOrRy 2 here bout dis but i suRe dAt JosH StiL lUv u JesIcA hE tELl me He wOulDnT luV u 4evR hE luv U 5evr. rEpoSt Dis iF u CreY verYtiMe
from: Lylly
4/5/2012 5:19:56 PM
"There was not even an encounter of a bear by me"
from: Danny Boy Cane
4/5/2012 5:19:52 PM
this MUDFISH has got the COSTA RICA SQUIRTS!!!!:)))))))
from: gjk
4/5/2012 5:19:51 PM
I'm not interested in the Arkansas job ............. But what can I get for $20?
from: Gus Malzahn
4/5/2012 5:19:48 PM
Taught Petrino everything he knows! And, well, he taught Jessica. Congrats Josh!!!
from: Bill Clinton
4/5/2012 5:19:45 PM
Arkansas? More like Arkansass
HAHAAHAHAHAHA
ASS
from: >arkansass
4/5/2012 5:19:44 PM
Not sure what is going on with your Guest Book today? Just wanted to confirm I'm available for the ceremony. See you guys soon. Soooo excited!
from: Duncan the Dog
4/5/2012 5:19:39 PM
Need a head coach hogs?
from: Gregg Williams
4/5/2012 5:19:36 PM
u ist prety i can haz yuu gbneohsdlfan
from: morris claiborne
4/5/2012 5:19:26 PM
Why the long face?
from: Jim
4/5/2012 5:19:24 PM
I love sucking huge man co*ck. Can I taste Josh's??
from: Ross Everton
4/5/2012 5:19:19 PM
I know surprisingly little about Bobby Petrino. I know nothing about his background or lineage. I do not know where Bobby was educated or what he has done besides evade responsibility. Nevertheless, I can tell you all that you need to know about him. For most of the facts I'm about to present, I have provided documentation and urge you to confirm these facts for yourself if you're skeptical. He's doing some pretty disdainful things. Or, to restate that without meiosis, Bobby and I disagree about our civic duties. I believe that we must do our utmost to investigate his linguacious principles, ideals, and objectives. Bobby, on the other hand, believes that going through the motions of working is the same as working.
Whereas Bobby claims that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully, I claim that many scholars have already concluded that his criticisms are highly cheeky. Nevertheless, it's still worth reexamining them in the light of new information, new research, and new insights. Doing so is sure to reveal that Bobby says that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. If that's the limit of Bobby's perception, acumen, and intelligence, then God help him. In a manner of speaking, unstable dunderheads like Bobby are not born—they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, Bobby's true goal is to rip apart causes that others feel strongly about. All the statements that his adulators make to justify or downplay that goal are only apologetics; they do nothing to raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding Bobby's anti-democratic perceptions.
While I agree with others' assessment that Bobby's emotional involvement with voyeurism obscures his ability to see things objectively, still, Bobby periodically puts up a façade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual. I shall do my utmost to counteract the subtle but pervasive social message that says that everything is happy and fine and good. To be more pedantic about it, he is not just damnable. He is unbelievably, astronomically damnable.
What can I do to prove to you that a leopard can't change its spots? Show you evidence that I like his calumnies about as much as I like rheumatism? While that would indisputably help, there is historical precedent for Bobby's artifices. Specifically, for as far back as I can remember, he has been suppressing those who would seek to learn the truth about his socially inept belief systems. Given how one lousy activity always leads to another, it should come as no surprise that everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that the main dissensus between me and Bobby is that I maintain that in a lustrum or two, Bobby will indulge in a vast orgy of murder to sate his innate bloodlust and his hatred of his betters. He, on the other hand, contends that he should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury.
Bobby justifies his uncontrollable false-flag operations with fallacious logical arguments based on argumentum ad baculum. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, it means that if we don't accept Bobby's claim that undiscoverable, unmeasurable, magical forces from another plane of existence have given him superhuman wisdom then he will push our efforts two steps backward. Guess what? He appears committed to the proposition that his views are correct, self-evident, and based on fact and reason, while other people's positions are not just wrong but illegitimate, ideological, and unworthy of serious consideration. If you were to get a second opinion from someone who's not a member of his crime syndicate, however, he'd of course tell you that Bobby has been known to "prove" statistically that he has a "special" perspective on yahooism that carries with it a "special" right to procure explosive devices, gasoline, and detonators for use in an upcoming campaign of terror. As you might have suspected, his proof is flawed. The primary problem with it is that it replaces a legitimate claim of association with an illegitimate claim of causality. Consequently, Bobby's "proof" demonstrates only that his manipulative values do not comport with my policy to address the real issues faced by mankind. Every time I strike that note, which I guess I do a lot, I hear from people calling me confused or hostile. Here's my answer: Bobby may unwittingly crush any semblance of opposition to his namby-pamby morals. I say "unwittingly" because he is apparently unaware that he operates under the influence of a particular ideology—a set of beliefs based on the root metaphor of the transmission of forces. Until you understand this root metaphor you won't be able to grasp why unlike Bobby, when I make a mistake I'm willing to admit it. Consequently, if—and I'm bending over backwards to maintain the illusion of "innocent until proven guilty"—he were not actually responsible for trying to draw young children into his vengeful way of life, then I'd stop saying that stopping Bobby is front and center in my work. From this anecdotal evidence I would argue that he used to maintain that he is the most recent incarnation of the Buddha. However, after my last letter so eloquently put a lie to that, Bobby and his accomplices have busily if rather quietly gone to work on their palinodes—amending here, canceling there, and generally trying to conceal the fact that if we can understand what has caused the current plague of what I call dissolute long-haired hippies, I believe that we can then honor our nation's glorious mosaic of cultures and ethnicities.
Regardless of what Bobby seems to feel, his problem is that he is thinking in a linear versus a configurational framework. In a sense, if we contradict him, we are labelled macabre bullies. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. Maybe he is being manipulated by headstrong, hopeless dumbbells, but even so, he insists that our country's security, prestige, and financial interests are best served by war and the ever-present threat of war. In the long run, however, he's only fooling himself. Bobby would be better off if he just admitted to himself that he says that our only chance of saving the planet is to accept unending regulations and straightjacket "reforms" from his habitués. Yet he also wants to outrage the very sensibilities of those who value freedom and fairness. Am I the only one who sees the irony there? I ask because this is not wild speculation. This is not a conspiracy theory. This is documented fact.
Although Bobby would like us to believe that the rigors that his victims have been called upon to undergo have been amply justified in the sphere of concrete achievement, he has given us neither good reason nor credible evidence to believe that. His intimations, on the other hand, give us good reason to believe that he accuses me of being impolite in my responses to his impetuous platitudes. Let's see: Bobby disgorges his disparaging and arrogant comments on a topic of which he is wholly ignorant, and he expects a polite reply? What is he, gormless?
Whenever Bobby is presented with the statement that remaining silent and inactive in the face of his rodomontades negates our duty as civilized members of the community, he spews out the hackneyed excuse that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors. Ironically, such screwball logic is likely to convince even more people that Bobby is still going around insisting that I'm too surly to help others to see through the empty and meaningless statements uttered by him and his votaries. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that his use of the term "photoreconnaissance" displays, at best, a tone deafness. The term drips with echoes of fascism and warns us all that Bobby has long been bad-mouthing worthy causes. What worries me more than that, however, is that if Bobby ever manages to doctor evidence and classification systems and make counterproductive generalizations to support disloyal, preconceived views, that's when the defecation will really hit the air conditioning.
At the very least, Bobby's lackluster hypnopompic insights send the wrong message to children. Bobby then blames us for that. Now there's a prizewinning example of psychological projection if I've ever seen one. He has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that he cannot be tamed by "tolerance" and "accommodation" but is actually spurred on by such gestures. Bobby sees such gestures as a sign of weakness on our part and is thereby encouraged to continue pushing all of us to the brink of insanity.
Having witnessed Bobby's carelessness with facts, the egregiously sloppy commentary he churns out on a daily basis, and his rummy, "ends justify the means" approach to exhibitionism, I have serious doubts about Bobby's integrity and a strong conviction that he says that his club is looking out for our interests. This is noxious falsehood. The truth is that a malevolent mentality and a blasphemous sense of isolationism create fertile soil for the worst classes of malapert ex-cons I've ever seen to trivialize certain events that are particularly special to us all. This issue is coming to the fore because few things are more sanctified to him than anti-intellectualism. Still, I recommend you check out some of his ruses and draw your own conclusions on the matter. Let me close by reminding you that the statements I made about Bobby Petrino in this letter are in earnest. I will not equivocate. I will not excuse. I will not retreat a single inch. And I will be heard.
from: Houston Nutt
4/5/2012 5:19:17 PM
Jessica, we would love to have you here at Alabama. I do not ride Harley's but I love them jet skis.
from: Nick Saban
4/5/2012 5:19:13 PM
I bet all these posts are from Derek Dooley
from: Clay Travis
4/5/2012 5:19:11 PM
Josh, I know she's probably told you it's totally innocent and they were friends, but man... that's just not something that people do. Who does that, takes a motorcycle ride with some guy alone? Sorry bro, she cheated. With a gross old dude.
from: Honest
4/5/2012 5:19:06 PM
How would you like a taste of the peoples strudel?
from: The Rock
4/5/2012 5:18:54 PM
I ONLY DID IT BECAUSE JOSH HAS A SMALL DICK!
from: Jessica
4/5/2012 5:18:52 PM
They supposed to be SEC
from: Poweshow
4/5/2012 5:18:51 PM
Wedding? No f*cking way...i just came on this chicks tit* like 2 weeks ago
from: Ron Jeremy
4/5/2012 5:18:49 PM
Bobby,
please give our president a ride soon.
from: United States Citizens
4/5/2012 5:18:46 PM
Interesting seeing as how his wife also left him for a friend of the program
from: Dale Denton
4/5/2012 5:18:17 PM
We'd like to invite you to New York for a live interview on the Today Show.
from: Matt Lauer
4/5/2012 5:18:08 PM
We should all take a stand against Bobby Petrino!!
from: Eric LeGrand
4/5/2012 5:18:01 PM
Keep holding the rope.
from: Dennis Franchione
4/5/2012 5:18:00 PM
Would you be willing to talk about Mr Petrino's boner on camera for a commercial?
from: Viagra PR
4/5/2012 5:18:00 PM
If Arkie needs a temporary coach, I have some free time.
from: Sean Payton
4/5/2012 5:17:47 PM
I deserve this for trying to give a wraparound on a motorcycle..
from: Jessica
4/5/2012 5:17:46 PM
I creamed my jeans when we crashed
from: BP erection
4/5/2012 5:17:44 PM
fvck our website is horrible
from: rivals.com
4/5/2012 5:17:43 PM
f*ck, WE'RE SCREWED. DAMNIT, PETRINO!
from: DaleDenton
4/5/2012 5:17:42 PM
I understand the wedding is probably off. Can I still come, I will make sure NONE of the food and cake is wasted. I don't need the bj's petrino always talked about, I like men.
from: Bradfy Hoke
4/5/2012 5:17:33 PM
Fishing part 2:
Holly was an exchange student from Sweden. She was a sweet and quiet girl during biology class. In her downstairs room at Mrs. Austin’s house, she grabbed my hair and clawed my back. I told her more than once that she had to be quiet. The next day my mom said that she would put some medicine where the cat had scratched me. My dad, sitting in his recliner, pulled down his newspaper from his face, smiled and winked.
Madison looked at me from across the gymnasium floor. The colored lights were scattered across the faces in the Homecoming Dance crowd. She put her cold hands around my neck and we slow-danced. I thought of her every day for six months during my senior year.
Whoever said “less is more” must have been a woman. During high school, the more meant the better. The more meant the cooler. We all compared stories during lunch and P.E. One day Timmy told us what Karen Drake did to him under the bleachers in second period. Karen later left trigonometry class crying. We didn’t listen to Timmy much after that.
College was different from high school. The dozens of opportunities turned into thousands. My freshman year EJ and I had our own apartment. We made bets on different girls. We kept up with who had the most. The pencil marks on the inside of the closet door clearly showed EJ was better. He had an older brother Mark who taught him the game. Mark was the coolest guy I’d ever known.
I met Caroline at the beach during Spring Break. I think her name was Caroline. On the windy beach, tucked in the shadows away from the moon’s light, she unfolded a towel and pulled me between her tanned legs. She took off my hat and ran her fingers through my hair while gently pushing my head towards her ocean. She tasted like sand. The next night, EJ found out what I was talking about.
Kristen’s were the biggest I had ever seen in real life. When she bounced on me, they applauded my valiant effort.
Afterwards is the worst part. They lay their head on my chest and wrap their arm around my waist. They want some sign of affection. They talk about my future like they may be a part of it. They talk about this weekend and ask what we’re doing. I just wish they’d get off of me so I could smoke my cigarette. They want me to make them feel like it wasn’t casual, like it actually meant something. Somewhere along the time line of this world, they were given the idea that it’s wrong for it to be meaningless. They refuse to admit to themselves that they wanted it just as bad as I did. Reality must be a bitch for them.
My desk lamp was the only light on when Leah grabbed my T-shirt with both hands and bit my lip softly. She threw me down on my bed and took off her clothes. She unbuckled my pants and bowed her head. It wouldn’t have mattered if I had said no.
Keri was an education major. She said, “Kiss me here.” “Touch me there.” “Do it like this.” “Rub that again.”
I met Dana at The Dugout one night while playing pool. We played six games of Eight Ball under a cloud of cigarette smoke and I let her win five. I didn’t take her home with me, nor did I go home with her. I didn’t want her to be another mark on the door. I called her the next day and we spent hours on the phone. She told me where she was from and where she wanted to go. “I wish my mom could meet you,” I thought. I never put a mark on the door for Dana. She graduated four months later and moved to Westchester. I missed her voice.
Morgan lived next door. With her brown hair, dark eyes and short shorts, she was always on my mind when I was alone.
For six weeks, Kim made me hate the game. The more she said no, the more I called. I got tired in the end.
We gave nicknames to each girl. “Elvira” was Kristen. “Xena” was Leah. “Mona” went to some girl EJ had. “Mustang” went to Sally. She was a cowgirl and showed me one night after our weekly poker game.
Bell was a nice girl. She brought her Calculus book to help me study. EJ said the odds were 3:1. Laying on my bed, I closed her book and raised her chin with my index finger until she looked me in the
